Like I said in my previous post, I smuggled an ipod. Some companions are okay with them, some are not. I found this on a reddit article, for those of you on your way to serve a mission here is some advice. Quote;"
This is follow-up to my original post: My story out and serving a mission as an Exmo.
Back several years ago when I was about to go on a mission in the middle of a faith crisis, I looked around the internet for advice on how to serve a mission when you don’t believe, and found nothing. I ended up having to figure it out as I went. Here is a bunch of the main things that helped me through:
First: My notebook. By the time I finished the mission, I had filled this notebook to the brim with unauthorized readings: mostly quotes from philosophy books I had read, or other things that served as a spiritual/emotional support, and allowed me to continue developing my thoughts. Copying it all down by hand into a notebook was really annoying, but it was extremely valuable in avoiding the rebuke of obedient missionaries for reading things we weren’t supposed to. My personal studies were mostly spent studying stuff like this (with maybe a little time in the book of mormon or something so I could tell the other missionaries “what I had learned”)
In line with the notebook, I also made good use of my camera. I would get friends to send me book PDFs, and I would literally take a picture of every single page, then read them off my camera screen. Depending on how desks were set up for study time, I could sometimes read off my camera, but make it look like I was reading the scriptures. Other times, I could read stuff off my camera with the excuse that I was reading emails from P-day that I didn’t have time to get through, or just going through old pictures. Once again, I was mostly interested in philosophy books, but I also read a book on Lucid Dreaming, as well as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. If you’re about to go, take pictures of all the books you want to read on your mission (overshoot how many you’ll want to read, depending on situation and schedules, I could sometimes read an entire book in only 2-3 days, so 50 books for your mission would not be overkill). Also, if you’re into porn, an easy way to hide it is to load a bunch up onto an SD card, then look at it on your camera. You’d have to be sure that you never leave that sd card in there though, as other missionaries can and will look at your camera pictures without warning. You could also bring an ipod touch or something similar and use that, although red flags would go up if anyone saw it. (I never actually did these with porn, but if you want to, I’m confident it would work)
Second: Music! This is sooooo important, at least it was for me. Even if I could listen to only one or two good songs a day, it would be in my head the whole day and was an incredible support. I started the mission with an old ipod with only classical and mo tab on it. That was a huge mistake. By the end though, I had gotten several mp3 players (I had one for public music I’d play with other missionaries, one for my own normal music, and one for all my podcasts.) a large collection of flash drives, several sets of earbuds, a nice set of speakers, and even a 1 TB hard drive. Get nice speakers that sound good, and for the mp3 players, the best ones are the USB mp3 players, because they are so small and easily hidden. I would collect all the music I could from other missionaries or members, such that when I ended the mission, I had 60-70 GB of music. Make sure you bring the music that you normally listen to and like with you when you serve!
So, I would always probe my new companion to get a sense for what music they were okay with and what they weren’t okay with. I had 2 or 3 companions who were down for anything which was awesome. We’d lay down the EDM during studies haha. But when they weren’t okay with it, I would listen to music while I showered, or occasionally when I was in bed, if I could sacrifice some sleep. I had a bathroom bag with soaps and toiletries in it, and in the bottom was a sock that blended in to the bag itself so it was hard to notice. Inside the sock, I stuffed my 2 usb mp3 players, a pair of headphones and a wall charger, so while I showered I could listen to one and have the other charging on the wall. If I wanted to listen in bed, I’d sneak it to bed in a pocket, then hide it in my pillowcase when I was done, and grab it in the morning and put it back in my bathroom bag sock. And remember that one usb mp3 player had mormon podcasts on it, so I used the same techniques to listen to Dehlin, Larsen, etc.
Third: Nevermo or exmo friends: This is, by far, the most important of them all. You HAVE to have someone on the outside you can write about what’s going on, without judgment, without them telling you you’re wrong or sinning or whatever. I had my two siblings who I have to blame for successfully finishing (shoutout to you both! I love you!). I also kept in contact with the exmo missionary that gave me the philosophy book in the MTC. He also successfully finished his mission.
They not only were my emotional vent and support, but they were my suppliers too. Whenever I needed something, be it music, book pdfs, or actual materials, they were there to get it to me
Fourth: Supplements. One of my exmo siblings was getting into supplements at the time, and I was interested, so he sent me some, and it made the rest of my mission so much easier. First one I started using was melatonin. Anyone who goes on a mission knows that you’re constantly sleep deprived, and there just isn’t enough time at night to transition from full out work to sleeping (most nights we’d finish mission work at 10:00 or later, and then be expected to be in bed sleeping at 10:30. Given how sudden that was and how little sleep you get in general, melatonin helped me to make the most of the sleep time I did have. I actually bought the melatonin at the MTC store. Quick note though, don’t be stupid like I was and use it every day. Melatonin dependence is a real thing.
The most influential one was caffeine. Because I didn’t actually believe or support what I was doing, I was almost incapable of developing motivation to go do stuff, and I was a rather lazy missionary at first, which kept on getting me into trouble, and was really painful, and depressing. The caffeine helped me to go do things simply because I had energy and I had nothing else I could do. Its a really good way to fake zeal. It also made the whole mission experience much more enjoyable. What I did was I got caffeine pills, which I would dissolve into a small water bottle that I kept with me in my bag. Drink a swallow or two and I was good for the day, and my companion would simply think that I was rehydrating.
There’s another drug called Phenibut, that was incredible. I don’t know how, but this guy makes you sleep really well, and also makes you more social, which is exactly what I needed as a missionary. Problem is, you can’t use it more than once every 4-5 days, so I saved it for special occasions, like presidents interviews or conferences or the like.
I also had anxiolytics that were helpful in relieving stress (stuff like ashwaghanda or tianeptine) and racetams that boosted brain activity (stuff like alpha GPC, Choline, or Noopept). These were more mild. (Note: All of these are perfectly legal, although you could potentially have problems across country lines, depending on where you go. I didn't.) Of the above, I strongly strongly recommend that you bring a stash of caffeine with you. The rest, you can pick and choose, based on whether it sounds useful
Fapping barely needs to be mentioned. Do it a lot; it’ll help. (I did it under the table once or twice during comp study. Lol, good times.)
One I accidentally stumbled into was moonshine. A combination of factors made me accidentally ferment a drink I had. That was a fun day, doing missionary work buzzed. I was able to recreate it once without problem, but brewing alcohol as a missionary is pretty sketchy. (you can buy wine yeast in tiny little packets that are easily hideable. Not sure how well you could hide the actual alcohol. Proceed with caution)
If you’re willing to explore boundaries with your companions, you’ll find at least a couple who are really lenient. I had one companion, for example, who would go with me to an internet cafe most days of the week for an hour or two and play video games and surf the web. You’ll get breaks like that during your mission. I personally spent many hours on this sub during my mission, enough to keep basic tabs on what was going on in the exmo world.
The biggest thing to understand is that the mission experience is incredibly unpredictable and volatile; coping methods that work in one instance may not work in another, so always be ready and exploit any opportunities you get. And develop your own coping methods on top of this. Always be ready and watchful.
One last topic to touch upon: how do you feel okay with yourself when you go door to door peddling a belief that you know is wrong and harmful? I approached the mission having this be my biggest fear, but it never really became a big problem. I was never ethically disgusted with myself for teaching missionary lessons. Explaining why takes some time. A big part of it is the fact that, due to the nature of my own faith crisis, I had found a lot of principles within the church that I liked, that resonated with me. I learned how to teach my own philosophical viewpoint using the jargon and structure of missionary lessons, and as much as I could, I left the rest for my companion to teach. And, using my background in debate, I went into many conversations simply seeking the thrill from successfully playing devils advocate, then feeling satisfied to see the majority of people, even then, recognize it for the bullshit it was and turn us away. I also thoroughly enjoyed listening to these people, as they explained their own theological and philosophical viewpoints on life. It really helped me broaden my perspective on what is out there.
There is an episode of Skeptoid that tackles this very question, and does it brilliantly. Read or listen to it here. he can describe better than I can why I saw no ethical problem in peddling the gospel as a non-believer. He also does two episodes on the BOM and BOA that are really good.
I said up above that the most important part of succeeding is having nevermo or exmo friends you keep in contact with. I know some of you might not have this luxury. As such, I wish to reach out. If you, or anyone you know, needs to finish a mission as an exmo and going home is not the right answer for them, let me get in contact with them! /u/FearlessFixxer : I signed up for the underground handcart company, but I don't think its specifically set up for this sort of situation. Any ideas on ways we can reach out to those in similar circumstances?
I know I’m not the only one who has served as an exmormon. What coping techniques did you employ to get through?
Sent from my iPod
This little piece is by FearlessFixxer on reddit. Go and thank him for his post!
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